#damn i sound like an old person
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I'm gonna say something harsh! The Garfield movie was disappointing
#looked like an add for a puzzle game#honestly turned it off not even halfway through#yeah i know its a kids movie but still#idk#even the character designs were throwing me off#and all the new tech and slang was irritating#damn i sound like an old person#ren won't shut up
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why do you reject serenity?
#because fuck you old man#re#re4r#resident evil 4 remake#my gifs#reedit#residenteviledit#re4redit#gamingedit#videogameedit#dailygaming#sounds more like an alien invasion to me#but no really why am i on a saddler kick who is to blame for this#and man this part was like holy shit at that lack of personal space#i was like :0#i've got issues but ya'll probably knew that already lmao#also saddler please share your eyeliner game because damn
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serious question, are there ANY (wired) headsets made today anymore that have seperated plugs for audio and microphone??
usb ones always cause trouble and the only other ones i can find are those with combined audio+mic into one plug, which i dont have the ports on my PC for.............
i tried looking through adapters but the only ones i can find are those that combine seperate ones, id need the reverse (if thats even possible)
(visualization bc i feel like i am losing my sanity trying to explain what i mean, am i stupid? did i halluzinate the two jack/plug thing???? do only cheap garbage ones have this??? is that one of the gaming chair things??? like oh you want a GAMING headset- that means either combined or usb haHA???)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#issue being that the new headset i bought is usb only and- of course- has a background noise that probably only ppl like me hear#im super sensitive to sound#like i hear bats and dog whistles you arent meant to hear#old headset (not the broken one) has a slight static and trouble with very silent sound which it cuts out#hence i got the newer ones (the now broken one) which didnt have that problem but well .. it broke after little use#new one has a weird beeping chirping in the bg#im so tired#(new one is the razer kraken v3- its usb only and any other plugs they have for other models are the damned combined one)#my computer isnt even that old but i literally cant find a single headset with those plugs seperated when i dont have that port#will i ever find a headset that fucking works with no drawbacks????#(wireless isnt an option bc i hate wireless anything that isnt a controller you can also use wired)#i know it may sound like its not working right but i am 100% certain its one only people like me can even hear#also i got no nerves to try and send anything back to amazon ... for once i bought it there....#or am i just stupid or did i miss some shit that made it standard to just call it differently or sth#like my pc has an audio port at the front and a mic port- two ports#the plugs (jacks???????) i see are the ones that have it in ONE#and i dont have it
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Y'all I am so fucking tired.
Me: vents about being shit on by doctors and struggling with ND symptoms in public
People: UM!!! AKTUALLY THAT IS NOW HOW YOU TALK ABOUT AUTISM! YOU ARE USING THE WRONG WORDS!!! LIKE I AM SO SORRY ITS HARD FOR YOU BUT UR MAKING IT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE WITH REALER DISORDERS :(((((
Me sitting here, not autistic and never once mentioning autism but with several other ND diagnoses that don't get taken seriously because US culture is a shit show and it doesn't exist if they've never heard of it, am never allowed to self advocate and constantly shut out of both NT and ND spaces for not fitting into the boxes people want, staring at the camera like I am on the office on the verge of tears.
Yes internet, people can 'go nonverbal', it is a real phrase for real symptoms and not just a term for someone permanently mute! No it is not 'just a meltdown' and calling an autistic person's symptoms 'just' anything is completely self defeating anyway, and so is saying I can't use the phrase nonverbal anymore because I have shown improvement in my conditions over the course of decades of hard work! I fucking HATE PEOPLE SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#eljin talks#medical shit#vent post#im sorry guys i apparently am just not allowed to ever open my mouth ever anywhere without someone telling me im wrong#we need to reteach passive aggression i s2g one more bitch goes#but i didnt use mean words and added ur valid at the end of implying youre a bad person for using ur diagnosis term wrong :( ur overreacting#like ffs#'oh im so sorry that happened but ur wrong and hirting hypothetical people who must have it worse than u bc theres no way its that bad'#CONGRATS YOU NOW SOUND JUST LIKE THE PROBLEMATIC ASSHOLES WHO ARE THE REASON PEOPLE GET DENIED DIABILITY#YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM DOUCHECANNOES#'um u dont have that only rly sick people have that :('#HAVE U CONSIDERED I AM REALLY SICK SUSAN?????#this is the gods damned eauivelant of telling me i shouldnt use the handicapped parking incase someone more diabled than me needs it#lets take the dsm5 and use it to make moltav cocktails to pelt abelists and gatekeepers#oh also 'well if talking about it is triggering then you shouldnt talk about it :('#talking about it ISNT karen being treated like a 5 year old and or serial killer while trying to share something vulnerable is!
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I should stop pretending I’m not southern
#post brought to you by an old cd of country music my grandma sent me#(she’s clearing out her house cuz she’s moving and she thought I might like it it’s an old burned cd of songs she and my grandpa liked#that I would always ask to listen when we went anywhere in their old pickup truck and I’ve been listening to it#it’s mostly Johnny cash Dolly Parton and various bluegrass and it’s like. yeah. I actually loved this music)#I should get back into a lot of the country artists I used to listen to#and then stopped when I started pretending I hated country cuz I didn’t wanna be associated with it or the south or being a fucking redneck#like damn did you know I used to wanna learn to play the banjo? maybe I should look into that…..#I’ve mentioned my rodeos n shit and I still have my cowboy boots and spurs and hats n stuff from when I rode horses#maybe I should stop consciously getting rid of my southern accent….#I mean I’ve never been able to completely shake it so most ppl can’t really notice#but if I tell them where I’m from they’re like ooohhhh that makes sense#but yeah if I don’t focus on it when I talk I have a much thicker accent than it sounds like#I should stop doing that…..#idk the older I get the more I miss the south and the culture and stuff#and also it pisses me off how ppl talk about the south#both in general and where I live now#actually had someone once tell me I didn’t ‘sound dumb enough’ to be southern#like man fuck you#anyways the point is I missed country music and I think I’m gonna start listening to it a lot more <3#cuz what point is there in pretending I don’t like it#and who cares if every person I’ve ever been close with fucking hates country music and would make fun of me if I ever even BEGAN to say#I liked it so anyways#kaz rambles
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protecting my peace fr
#i only have 3 (4? if you count my bsfs bf)#close friends that i talk to and stay in regular contact with#but theyre all a year younger so they’re still in high school#except for my bsfs bf#but even then we don’t talk every single day bc we’re all so busy#i have literally no friends on campus#and i don’t dorm either#and all of this is perfectly fine for me#like awkward interactions w people im not that close w drain me#so i prefer being alone#so i see old friends from high school partying every weekend n shit and it’s like damn#what am i doing w my life#but then i realize i don’t have any opps#and i have no negative emotions for a single person in my life#which makes my life so much easier#bottom line: protecting my peace fr#ps sorry if this sounded like a trauma dump#i didn’t mean it to be#i’m very content w my peaceful#and introverted life#hannyoontify.misc
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Another derp for the episode of violin(ce) ~ 🎵🎻🩸🎶
#The Magnus Protocol#6#Day late but who cares#Yet another installment of “coconut makes podcasts doodles but for TMAGP specifically xey make them comically overly detailed”#I freaking love this episode#Musical horror is like such a niche genre of horror but it’s so amazing#Had to devote the whole doodle to the statement for that (sorry Samama looking up TMAGP and Gwen getting weird Lena video parts)#AUGUSTUS#I have like no idea who he could be I thought it was Jonah then Jurgen but now Jonah again 🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤 I have no idea#I’d think if it was either of the two they’d get their old vas back but no Tim Fearon is a totally new guy#Who does amazingly at his statement#I like the part where he gets the violin(ce)#Who could that person be I swear they sound like they were an eye devotee the way he told his whole life in front of him#The subtle string accompaniment in the back of the statement very cool#GOD THE PART THAT STARTS AT “AND ALL THE WHILE I BLED” TO “HOW COULD I DO OTHERWISE?” IS WRITTEN SO SO WELL I CAN’T#I PLAY PIANO I KNOW WHAT IT CAN BE LIKE LIKE AUUGGHHHHHHGHGHGH#AND OF COURSE “THE BLOOD FOR IT���S STRINGS NEED NOT BE YOUR OWN” LIKE DAMN THANKS YOU COLE WEAVERS FOR THIS EPISODE#And then the whole recitation part that was crazy#Just… ✨musical horror✨ dude#It’s so cool#This is my favorite episode so far#It goes 4 1 2 3#Also LENA DID YOU BRUTAL PIPE MURDER SOMEONE TO WE CAN’T ESCAPE THIS TROPE AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA
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worming out of awkward conversations l i k e
#accidentally partially traumadumped on my coworker earlier auaaaaaa im so sorry#literally all she asked was ‘are you gonna be spending cny with your father?’ and cue the rant (sadge)#i didn’t really have to tell her that the dude tried to burn our apartment down during a certain rampage#(said fire was extinguished by my then-11 year old bro with water from the sink though. good boi)#the topic was successfully changed after that yeayyyyyy#but. m a n n n n . cny is not a good time for me lmfaooooo#i swear i have at least one bad memory for all of the years that i’ve gone housevisiting for the season#like there was that time when i,as a kindergartner,was deemed to be the cause of breaking apart the family’s bonds#over a can of cola at a reunion dinner bc i cried when my evil aunt scolded me for daring to want a drink other than water#i think my father still blames me for that to this very day lmfaoooooo#g o d. manifesting my hopes and dreams for that prick to not contact me this year im begginggggg#he’s. like. the one person i hate more than myself. 3rd place on my hatelist is his father ofc. no clue who 4th place would be though…#hmmmmm ok i think that’s enough traumadumping for one cny season lmao#tune in next year as i once again wonder what tf the name of one of my cousins is#bc despite how bonkers that side of the family is… i’m sure that the dude’s parents weren’t deranged enough to name their son ‘colour’—#his name is seriously one of my greatest unsolved mysteries. i mean. he has siblings with names like dylan and vivian/valerie/vanessa(?)#and yet everyone calls him something that sounds like ‘colour’.#like damn did his parents decide to skip giving just one of their children a first name or something? guess i’ll never know
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I think I have such complicated feelings about my voice bc like. I've had significant dysphoria about it since long before I knew what dysphoria even was, but that also means I've been (knowingly or not) trying to sound masculine for about that long and I haven't completely failed at it. so I hate hearing my own voice but it's a point of pride at the same time. and I want it to change but I don't want to lose what I've taught myself to do with it. and I want to show it off sometimes but it makes me die a little bit. yknow?
#trans stuff#I also just like to Make Sounds. singing or in general. dysphoria be damned#and like. do I think I'm a Good singer? debatable. I do community theatre and some people I know from there have said I am#but like I don't think it's anything remarkable personally. I can carry a tune. I have good lung capacity#I have. a weird range.#but anyway it's not exactly that I think I'm good at singing it's that I'm Proud of my voice despite not exactly Liking it#I don't know. if anyone is reading this far. hi#shoutout to 12 year old me determinedly practicing my Evil Villain Voice which was just an excuse to try and yell masculinely#also shoutout to all ages me hearing songs sung by men and thinking Well Why Shouldn't I Be Able To Do This
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so weird how everyone lies to you when they think you’re beautiful
#a bit drunk so bare w me but actually crazy how people just saw whatever to flatter you when they think you’re pretty#not that I’m stunning but I’m a young girl in a group of 40-50 year old men and I know what the vibe is and they all told me I was a great#dancer when I know for a fact this is the worse I’ve ever done and there’s no way on earth if I was someone they found unattractive would#they say that to me#I know it sounds self centered and believe me I’m the last person. to think I have pretty privilege but just like damn make it less obvious#anyways#delete later
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My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.
Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"
#it makes me sad that she's so old. and it's only in the past couple months that she's been doing this.#she's still overall very physically healthy. we go on walks almost every day and as long as she wants to.#and she eats well and takes vitamins and her teeth are kept clean and her claws trimmed and her coat clean#but she's slipping a little mentally#she's 11 which is old as hell for a dog her size. the vet said golden retriever mixes (which is what i assume she is) usually live to 10.#and she's not even started going white too much. just around her snoot and a little on her paws.#so when i take her in the vet always assumes she's like 6#but I've had this crusty old lady since shortly before i was even legally an adult#and I'm scared for when she does die because my other dog dying damn near made me commit suicide#and like I've said. I've had her a lot longer.#if she were a person she'd be going into middle school. like.#and she's had her share of weird health things. she's had a thyroid issue since she was 4. she has a weird skin condition.#she's had a couple surgeries and has scars from being attacked by random dogs (not my fault. she's well trained)#she's fallen a couple times recently but the vet says that's normal for her age#she went blind then wasn't blind and is going blind again#her hearing is starting to get shit too#I'm just so worried about her. this dog is a person to me. she's more real than my family in my mind.#and my cat is cool and all. but she's not a people. she's just a cat.#i guess the best i can hope for her is she lives the rest of her life comfortably and can die peacefully in her sleep#i think I'd completely come unglued from reality if i lost another dog to surprise everything cancer#but that's what I'm most scared of#because it came on so quickly and no one caught it despite me being that person who takes their dogs to the vet over a cough#she's sleeping right now and making goofy ass dog dream sounds. and i know i won't hear that any more sometime soon.#dog#old dog#senior dog#clio#joe biden mention
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this Tylenol ain’t shit w
#talkingcore#emotions. man.#there’s so much music that I just haven’t listened to in a bit and it’s making me feel things it’s not even like sad things I’m like damn#how long has it been since I’ve listened to beautiful stranger by Madonna as featured in Austin powers international man of mystery#but also something in my brain feels like it needs to cry like I don’t feel like I physically can but something needs to be released#so do I go pet sounds? smile? falsettos? I feel like I need to be in a sleeping bag and Contemplate#fun fact! Kendra Morris has an absolutely stunning cover of don’t talk (put your head on my shoulders)#I’m pretty neutral on beach boys covers tbh I’m never crazy about them since like they really never measure up#how many mid covers of god only knows can I take? not many. but like she & him have their little Brian Wilson tribute I like that.#the covers are a lot better when they don’t try to perfectly replicate whatever the fuck Brian Wilson was doing they aren’t him#brain wants to go melancholy mode but I’ve no clue over what. girl just tell me what I’m supposed to be sad over I’ll commit to the bit#need to keep listening to new stuff but also need old stuff Maybe that’s it maybe I just need old stuff again? like routine?? shit idk#also like at 5 am I woke up and remembered how in choir people kept comparing me to the director they had the year before me#and the thing is she had the same name as someone else in choir that was student teaching my first semester so I kept thinking they were#referring to her Id be in my choir fit my silly suit my proud butch uniform and they’d be like oh this is so ‘insert name’!#and it kept throwing me off because the student teacher was like. not like me at all so I was like fuck#what kind of girl core energies am I accidentally emitting this is Bad. so anyway 5 am I’m like fuck it I need to research this person#I search. find her. she’s butch. I’m blessed. they weren’t lying like man we do such a good job at being generic! yay!#butch And in choir! love to see it! keep thinking how I am destined to be like in my 40s doing mundane tasks#I’m gonna be soooooo good at watering plants and putting salt on the sidewalk before it snows and cleaning drains#need to be a dad mom so fucking bad you don’t get it I need to drive carpool and take off work for dentist trips and watch hgtv#AHHHH i think that got rid of some of the sad lfg💥💥💥💥this must be super long god damn sorry
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funny how powerful a smell can be. it can really bring out so much emotion
#smelling something that reminds you of a place or a person can be so emotional like#it's stronger than looking at a picture of the place or person or thinking about it#it's so visceral#it's like an instant gut reaction#i don't think i've ever smelled something that reminded me of a loved one or a space that holds good memories#and not immediately teared up#i'm not usually too focused on smells i care about my hearing more like i always focus on sounds on a daily basis#but damn. kudos to the old nostrils#rain.stuff
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The memory is lost in the maze of my mind until someone throws down the thread of trivia.
“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember
#goo noises#at which point my brain will latch on like a gods damned moray eel#a common phrase for me at trivia nights is “I don't know where the fuck that came from”#there was a round of questions at a bar trivia where we had to guess the 90s tv show from the a theme song sound bite#mind you only one person in our group was old enough to actually remember the 90s#the bonus question was from a PBS show that I very vaguely remember watching as a very small child#and I was FUCKING RIGHT#literally had not watched the show in decades#still pulled that shit from nowhere
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Lately I’ve been getting a kick outta the idea of Ghost having a girlfriend that Johnny is painfully interested in (tale as old as time). But she a lil neurodivergent and selectively mute (edit; I originally labeled reader as non-verbal, but I was made aware mutism more accurately describes this!). She’s comfortable enough with Simon that she’ll talk to him when they’re alone, but she won’t say a word to Soap (she doesn’t talk to the other guys either, but you know that Johnny chooses to take it so damned personally).
The worst part is that Soap will say shit to her, and she’ll give Simon her little signal so he can bend down and she can talk to him so fucking quietly. It’s like they speak a different language and Simon is the interpreter. And it’s so infuriating to him because shit like this will happen.
“Ain’t you looking a right picture, bonnie— that dress new? Fits ye like a damned glove, sweetheart.”
You tug on Simon’s sleeve so he can lean down. Soap is rocking back and forth on his heels, anticipating an answer. He’s down so bad, he doesn’t even care that he’ll hear it from Simon’s lips and not yours. You whisper for what feels like minutes on end.
“She says thanks.”
“God damn, L.T.— you know she fuckin’ ‘ad to ‘ave said more than that!” He whines indignantly, Simon smirking. Simon knows all about his little crush, and chooses to let the lad suffer. His time will come when you’re ready.
This goes on and on for months on end— and you know what? It’s hard for Johnny to jerk off to the image of you wedged between him and Ghost when he has no idea what you sound like, moaning or otherwise. You can probably see him half hard in his jeans every time he heads home from a movie night with you and Simon.
“G’night, L.T. Night, hen.” Soap’s almost all the way down the walkway when he hears something almost inaudible over the ambient sounds of the night.
“Goodnight, Johnny.”
Now that’s gonna keep his fantasies fed for weeks.
#writing#cod fanfic#john soap mctavish x reader#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghoap x reader#neurodivergent reader#uhm is my sleep away camp showing
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Getting old is worrying that you will wake your roommate from their nap bc your joints creak as you shift positions
#personal#i am not even old yet#but damn my joints apparently think i am#they sounded like a twig snapping
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